The Beauty in the Beast

Meet Jacqueline

This dog is the 35th dog we've fostered. At a little over two months old, she is ready for her forever home. When we're asked to foster, I don't like to choose, although we do have to have puppies since our first foster was a foster fail who is not friendly towards adult dogs. So, other than their size/age, we don't mind. We'll care for any rescued pup. 

Isla, The most beautiful pup 

I've ever seen

Once, we got a puppy who regurgeted food after every meal. Turned out he had a heart issue and needed open heart surgery at eight weeks old. One pair of siblings needed multiple meds each day; with food, at bedtime, rubbed on bald patches. It was a juggling act to remember who got what, when. 

Recently, a friend wanted a puppy, so we adopted, fostered until we could find a flight, then sent her to him in NYC. We were told she had ringworm. I had never had a dog with that before, although most of them have some sort of tapeworm-thingy. But with ringworm, it was highly contagious, so we were careful to limit her interaction with our dogs, and of course, we had to keep washing our hands. 

Last week, we got this puppy with mange all over her face, up around her ears, down her chest and even on her front paws. And luckily, it's non-contagious mange. Other than that, she's a healthy and happy pup. From the moment we got her, she has been curious, assertive without being aggressive towards our other dogs, and pleasantly self- assured.

But last night, I picked her up and placed her on my lap as I watched TV. I do this with all of the dogs, but it was the first time since we got her on Friday that I did it with her. She sat rigid as a board. She accepted my stroking her fur, my cuddling her, but she never really eased her body onto mine. Never really relaxed. Finally, I put her back down on the floor where she played with Pearl, our four-month-old rescue. 

Today, she hopped up and down in front of me as I sat on the couch. I guess she liked it after all. So, I picked her up, placed her on my lap and she snuggled with me for a few minutes before hopping down to play with the big dogs. 

She's just so beautiful!

What I got to thinking was how different this puppy's experience is compared to the dog we just got for our friend. Isla (who now goes by another name) Has to be the most beautiful dog I've ever encountered. Don't get me wrong, we've fostered 34 dogs before her; 
and I volunteered at the shelter; and I generally notice dogs no matter where we go. Why, I have even spent countless hours perusing dog adoption sites just for fun, and still, I say, Isla is THE most beautiful dog I'd ever seen! Except for the fact that she had ringworm (or so we were told), she would have been snatched up the moment she was available for adoption. The. Very. Moment!

The rash was healing but still...

Jacqueline, on the other hand, I picture people looking at and shying away from. I'm not sure how she wound up at the shelter, but if this is how she looked AFTER being treated with prescription medication, just how rough did she look when she was brought in?

 

Imagine her with her scabs all over her body with craggy, crusty, red blisters on her face, potential adopters turning away, repulsed. Poor Jacqueline, she doesn't see that her puffy, pink, half-closed eyelids make her look as if she is not all there. She doesn't realize her exposed skin, bald from the mites that have eaten away her flesh is the reason people won't touch her for fear of contagion. She can't know that it's her skin condition, and not her that is being rejected. What must she think? What must this do to her confidence, her self-worth, her character at an age when these feelings are absorbed and learned. 

When I was in Junior High School, I started developing eczyma. It started on my neck, a hotspot that was itchy and I couldn't help but scratch, particularly when stressful situations occurred. I was an awkward teen, so, stressful situations was my way of life. The patches of dried skin cropped up all over my body and I'd find each and every spot and scratch until it bled. Not only was Junior High a time of pubscent growth, I had to deal with students from three other schools converging into one. 

And for the first time, I had to undress in a large locker room for gym class; as an overweight teen, this situation was horrifying. I had so many welts that I tried to cover them up with bandages, making them more obvious. A girl I knew only by name called attention to them as I stood at my locker half-undressed and trying to disappear. "Hey, what's wrong with you, girl? You have some kinda disease? Why you got so many Band-Aids? You better not be contagious or nuthin'"

So, that's what I recall when I look into this pup's face. Those horrific moments of rejection and repulsion during a formative year. I see her look up at me wanting approval, affection, love. This poor puppy has no idea why she is being rejected. She didn't do anything wrong, except for being born. And how does that feel when you can't help the situation you find yourself...through no fault of your own...Or is it? 

As my mom slathered lotion on my welts, she would shake her head. "Who's going to love you now?" She once said aloud. This must have been something she was thinking for a long long time. 

I was overweight, unattractive, awkward, shy, introverted, buck-toothed with braces, glasses, and now eczema. I carried those words with me throughout my life. It was what rang true due to my abandonment issues. It was how I saw myself: unlovable, unwanted, undeserving of affection. 

 

But this puppy, she's not going to feel that way, not if I can help it. 

Every one of those puppies we fostered, got a loving home, was made to feel safe and secure, and cared for. From the prettiest puppy to the mangiest mutt...and I say that with affection. As a girl with abandonment issues, I tend to gravitate, no, identify with the underdogs. 

Each foster dog in our care gets a few days, a week, some more than two months of positive attention, abundance of affection and love, so much love! When they're with us, I want to make sure that they know their lives have value, that they are worthy and in each of them, we see their potential, their potential for love.

Jacqueline will fly to the mainland in 10 days. And whether or not she has overcome the mange, adopters will see her beauty in her confidence, in her sweet demeanor, in how fast she learns, and her laidback disposition. She may not be the most beautiful dog I've ever seen, but she most certainly possesses beauty that goes well-beyond skin deep.